I’ve got Havana Syndrome,

Please allow me to explain.

The biggest, baddest symptom,

Is development of my brain.

It could have been a sound wave,

Or some directed energy,

That gave my family healthcare,

And raised my life expectancy.

This illness has been causing,

Strange noises from my mouth,

Like “We must aid and arm the revolution

across the Global South.”

So keep your distance from me,

If it’s the only thing you do.

For if you catch Havana Syndrome,

You could become a comrade too.